OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
