fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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