I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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