his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
