why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
