Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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