currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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