What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
