She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
