How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize