In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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