Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
