So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
