I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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