I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
