Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
