it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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