It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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