everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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