I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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