Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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