He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
