Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
