I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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