but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
