i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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