haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
