I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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