My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
