Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
