I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
PANTIES FOUND
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