i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize