she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
