I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
