My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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