Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
