just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
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