Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
