Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
