Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
