YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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