I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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