Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
