Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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