Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
