Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
