I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
