That's when you crack a 10am beer
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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