I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
