is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
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