This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
