i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
