we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
