Grow some girl-balls and come out already
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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