I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
