I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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