I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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