His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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