So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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