I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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