I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
