ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
